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bisexualfunfacts:

Fact: Unlike the gay agenda™, the bisexual agenda contains a 15 minute break for snacks between sessions.

(via bookofbaitnate)

heterophilia:

Thinking youre attractive but having a lot of insecurities is like having a crush on yourself but not knowing if you like yourself back.

(via happycrabsadventure)

unirony:

if yr lookin for the sillybandz ds game this store has 60 copies of it

unirony:

if yr lookin for the sillybandz ds game this store has 60 copies of it

(via bootyghost)

obtuse-juice:

yungmickjagger:

tumblr user: CAN *gif* WE *gif* JUST *gif* TALK *gif* ABOUT *gif* THIS *gif* FOR *gif* A *gif* MOMENT *gif* *gif *gif*

me: Chill

image

I *gif* CAN’T *gif* UNDERSTAND *gif* YOUR *gif* ACCENT *gif*

(Source: doutzenkros, via destituteluminary)

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey



I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey

image

I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people

(via uselesspoliticalstatement)

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

(via destituteluminary)

matthewsagan:

career goals: not cleaning up vomit or feces

(Source: matthewsagan, via caseyanthonyofficial)

yamigetsu:

isis-:

gallifreyanconsultingdetective:

doctorwhoslostcompanion:

echoofmydreams:

boost-and-barbells:

taco-marco:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

What does this mean???? Help????

DYING. FUCKING DYING.

……Wait for it…….

Legend Gallon, Legend Milk, Legend Handle………..

Share a coke with a legend milk? Can of legend milk?? Coke and a big ass bottle of pink top milk????

it tok me a while but i got it


Got it immediately.

yamigetsu:

isis-:

gallifreyanconsultingdetective:

doctorwhoslostcompanion:

echoofmydreams:

boost-and-barbells:

taco-marco:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

What does this mean???? Help????

DYING. FUCKING DYING.

……Wait for it…….

Legend Gallon, Legend Milk, Legend Handle………..

Share a coke with a legend milk? Can of legend milk?? Coke and a big ass bottle of pink top milk????

it tok me a while but i got it

Got it immediately.

Anonymous asked, "Did you have any crushes on cartoon characters when you were a kid?"

commanderabutt:

starscream

(Source: ahcrew, via sheep-heavenly)